Heart to Heart Communications » Blog

Heart-to-heart conversations at work — happening enough or not? Why?

Jody — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 01:31:32 +0000

Do you need to have a heart to heart conversation with someone at work? Too often the in organizations there are the “unmentionables” – significant issues which are not discussed out of fear. Some people are respectful and polite to one another when meeting face to face but get “down and dirty” in the informal conversations which happen after the meeting.

Mike (not his real name), a supervisor who attended one of our workshops, had often told his staff that he wanted them to feel comfortable approaching him on any issue. However, he remarked that few people ever came to him. His initial response to this was – “Why isn’t my staff better at communicating? What’s wrong with them?” He eventually came to realize that as a leader in his department, he usually communicated with his staff in a negative manner. Mike recognized that he was the one who needed to become a better communicator – especially by suspending judgment long enough to genuinely hear what people were saying.

Risk-taking is Free

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 19:28:34 +0000

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But the risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Author Unknown

Life’s Little Top 20

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 19:22:23 +0000

Treat everyone you meet as you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Never refuse homemade brownies (cake, pie, cookies)
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday, or someone else’s.
Compliment 3 people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you like them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Make new friends, but cherish the old friends.
Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say “thank you” a lot.
Say “please” a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people’s birthdays and holidays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Have a firm handshake.

Life Is . . .

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:54:15 +0000

Life isn’t about keeping score.
It’s not about how many friends you have
   or how accepted you are.
It isn’t about if you have plans this weekend
   or if you’re alone.
It isn’t about who your family is or how much money they have
   or what kind of car you drive.
It isn’t about how beautiful or ugly you are.
It isn’t about what clothes you wear, what shoes you have
   or what kind of music you listen to.
It’s not about what clubs you are in
   or how good you are at your sport.
It’s not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will accept the written you.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It’s about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It’s about keeping or betraying trust.
It’s about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It’s about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It’s about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It’s about what judgments you pass and why, and who your judgments are spread to.
It’s about who you’ve ignored with full control and intention.
It’s about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow and spreading it.

But most of all, it’s about using your life to touch or poison other people’s hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life is all about.

Author Unknown
Printed in Spirit at Work, October 1998

If You Can

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:45:14 +0000

If you can start the day without caffeine. . .
If you can get along without pep pills. . .
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains. . .
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles. . .
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it. . .
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time. . .
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong. . .
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment. . .
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him/her. . .
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend. . .
If you can face the world without lies and deceit. . .
If you can conquer tension without medical help. . .
If you can relax without liquor. . .
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs. . .
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics. . .

Then you have almost reached the same level of development as your dog.

Charles Schultz’s Philosophy

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:20:10 +0000

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is that none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a diffrence in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care.

Something to remember — “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

Charles Schultz

(Creater of the “Peanuts” comic strip)

The Inner Work of Leaders: Leadership as a Habit of Mind

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:12:55 +0000

Barbara Mackoff & Gary Wenet

New York: AMACOM, 2001

In this approach to leadership, two psychologists profile more than 50 leaders who have leveraged the legacy of their life experiences into five powerful habits of mind to shape the way they think about, and respond to, challenges in their leadership.

Readers learn about the inner work of leaders such as Sara Lee former CEO, John Bryan; Hearst Magazine President, Cathleen Black; Cherokee Chief Wilma Mankiller; former Princeton President, Harold Shapiro; former Chicago Cubs President, Andy MacPhail; and Ogilvy & Mather CEO, Shelly Lazarus.

Each leader tells a compelling story of translating the lessons of a lifetime into habits of mind that are central to his or her success.

Leadership is an Art

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:09:36 +0000

Max DePree
New York: Dell Publishing, 1989

This thoughtful book offers an innovative style of business leadership, a humanistic approach that is responsible for the remarkable success of some of America’s most admired.

Going beyond the mechanics of leading and into the ethics and philosophy of leadership, the book puts a human face on what can be a very harsh position, corporate leadership. With probing questions, the author pulls out of the reader many insights, forcing you to think through things yourself, allowing you to draw your own conclusions

Insights on Leadership: Service, Stewardship, Spirit, and Servant-Leadership

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 15:38:31 +0000

Larry C. Spears, Editor
New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1998

Many of today’s most respected business thinkers explore how Robert Greenleaf has influenced today’s leaders and discuss a range of leadership principles at the heart of his philosophy, including: stewardship, the spirit of the workplace and the concept of healing leadership.

Over the course of 33 essays, the authors (including Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard, Peter Block, Margaret Wheatley, John Schuster, and James Autry) are contributors.

Spirit at Work: Discovering the Spirituality in Leadership

Jody — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 15:33:28 +0000

Jay Alden Conger
Jossey-Bass; 1st ed (1994)

(This book is) An insightful exploration into the role of spirituality in leadership. The contributors use thought-provoking examples to expand the definition of leadership to include the development of hospitable spaces for work life, services to both the organization and the community, and personal development of individuals within the organization.

Leaders in business, public administration, and nonprofit organizations will gain personal insights into applying spiritual qualities such as justice, fortitude, and prudence to enhance personal fulfillment in the workplace and to strengthen the objectives and performance of their organizations.